Do you usually fall for the wrong guys? Those that lie, exploit, betray, slander, just wish to swear, and generally mistreat you? And you’re sick of it? So read on. A fight for change can change your pattern!
That’s Why You Pick Bad Men
You probably think you wind up with the wrong men since you’re deeply in love and have excellent chemistry together. In actuality, it’s all about psychological patterns, not physical indications of desire.
Your mental makeup is part of your psychological patterns – what patterns do you have from your past, how do you behave in close relationships, and what features do you like in men? But you also become addicted to males.
How to Get Over an Ex-boyfriend
A bad man generally does not treat you well. But he still shows you care and love in small doses, so you long for the good times and do your best to recreate them.
Your craving for his intermittent attention generates a love-addiction loop. So you’re not in love with him, but you’re dependent on him and his drama.
To break your cycle, you must work on both yourself and your relationship beliefs. And we guide you!
1. Accept your Past
You may fall for the wrong men for fear of being tied down. Perhaps a good man makes you feel inadequate because you fear not measuring up. Maybe you fear pure love because you don’t know how to handle it.
You probably fall for awful men because you repeat a pattern from earlier relationships, such as those with your father, mother, ex-boyfriend, or yourself.
If you want to understand your pattern, look back at your past and notice what you keep repeating. It’s all about forgiveness once you’ve identified the source of your issue.
Only through letting go of bitterness and anger, forgiving others involved, and forgiving yourself for your part in the pattern, can you let go of your baggage.
2. Know Your Connection View
Another reason you keep falling for the wrong men is that you have a preconceived notion of what a relationship – love – should be like.
Why are you dating the wrong men when you know they won’t give you the relationship you want? What draws you to them? What feelings do they arouse? Do you have a dramatic relationship with them?
The incorrect man makes us feel wilder, braver, naughtier, or more alive, just because it’s a challenge to hold his interest. Ask yourself whether you can acquire those feelings in another way, like a hobby.
Part of this activity is redefining what a healthy relationship is. Good men and a stable love are not monotonous. It’s just different because it’s not usual.
3. Boost your Ego
Many of us date incorrect men due to low self-esteem. We don’t think we’re worth more, but we desire the boost in self-esteem that comes with taming an unreachable man. But let’s face it: a nasty guy rarely becomes a trustworthy dream man…
Boost your confidence and self-esteem before you meet a man. When you respect yourself, you won’t be treated harshly by a man.
4. Know your Dating Style
Patterns are actions we take routinely and without thinking. You can’t change your pattern unless you know it. To make you aware of your dating routine.
What wrong men do you usually fall for? Do they have any distinguishing characteristics? And do you have any special methods of behaving that allow them to treat you badly?
The earlier you recognise your tendency, the more likely you are to change it. So learn to spot the warning signals of a vicious cycle. Is your date a risk Is he not listening, or does he not understand? Does he minimise your visits? Do you feel like you’re concealing or smoothing out to avoid his wrath?
Keep an eye on him and your emotions so you can make informed decisions at any time.
5. Recall your Aim
You desire a good relationship, which is why you go on awkward dates and meet new people with all their fear and vulnerability. And you must regularly remind yourself of this purpose to stay focused.
If he only stops by at 2 a.m., inebriated, do you really want to welcome him in? Do you think you’ll be happy with him if he’s entirely wrong on the second date? Do you think he will be a good boyfriend for you if he gets your number?
6. Hold On
Opposing your habitual behaviour is neither easy nor comfortable. In fact, everything involves conquering since you have to explore new routes and try new things, and the chance of failure or rejection is always present. But do it!
You do it naturally because it feels natural and lovely, but you’ve discovered it’s neither acceptable nor good for you. When it’s hard to find new paths, remember point 5 and what you want. Make judgments based on that, not on how it feels right now.